The Question of Dad

After a week off work (extremely thankfully missing our 2nd busiest day of the year, start of insane summer sale) and a week in the company of Annie and with her help - I have painted all the walls of the nursery! Yay! So it's a spring/mint green with a white rail that runs through the middle at the moment, ceiling got a little bit painty but nothing on the carpet and no other overlaps (we put down cellotape, which seemed the answer to all problems...but we discovered if left for more than two days it leaves the wall with a sticky residue).

During this time Ixxy's Dad/father/co-creater returned from a month-long holiday in
Australia with his girlfriend, during which time I made no attempt to contact him (because I'm trying to be mature and respectful about the whole thing) but he did send a couple of support messages which made me feel at ease and reassured me that I wasn't completely alone in all this. I also got the dates of return wrong and rang him 4 days before he got home at 5.45am Australia time (oops!) but aside from that all was well.

His girlfriend (as is completely understandable) wants him to have nothing to do with me but knows the story and appears to have forgiven us both after this sorry mess started. We have been in a vague sort of contact (which has been as adults and not a slagging match) and think we have made an effort to understand each other, which is probably key to sorting out just how involved said man should be.

I suppose I don't see how you can continue to both, stay with the love of your life, knowing that you not only were unfaithful but also made a baby with someone else whilst staying involved with your long-term ex-girlfriend and have a decent, friendly relationship with both her and your spawn.

But I'm hoping that somehow, both are possible. I finally made up my mind this week that I actually don't really want to weedle back in with my ex, it doesn't really achieve anything. Even if we were a 'couple' he'd still be studying in London and probably see Ixxy as much as if he was an absent father in a relationship with someone else. Even when we casually talked about perhaps seeing each other again we were both in complete doubt and the conversation went round in circles. I think the conclusion was something like 'for the good of mankind we should be a relationship and not meet other people' or something equally bizare.

Anyway, just thought I'd give a quick blog about him. He may or may not decide to be involved as yet, depends if he can keep up all this and a relationship. I'll hear soon, hopefully everything will be well and Ixxy will at least know about his or her father, and maybe a step-mum one day too. :-)