Grey face, reusable nappies and junk food

I'm halfway through my tenth week of being pregnant, apparently my uterus is the size of a grapefruit and Ixxy nearly the size of a prune.

We have been having glorious weather, and I took advantage of it and visited my parents on Saturday. We talked really openly about baby stuff, Mum's main concern is me coping on my own for the first week, to which I explained that hopefully my wonderful Faye (and/or Emma in alternative shifts) will be staying with me at the start - to keep my spirits up and to support me while I adapt to demand feeding and sleep deprivation. Dad's main worry was money (men are always so practicle!) so I talked that through with him and showed him the finace book my midwife had given me - it shows on paper that I am entitled to rather a lot and he seemed happy with that.

Mum gave me a delicious meal in the evening and then got her knitting book out and went through all the baby cardigan designs (some of which me and Alex had worn) so I get to pick the wool and buttons and she's gonna make me lovely hand-knitted clothes! This made me get a little silly and spend a considerable amount of time cooing over the tiny little booties which had a pattern for, in my opinion they were a lot cuter than the booties at work.

Unfortunately, something had given me an awful headache and I downed some paracetamol to try and banish it. I started feeling really sick and in the end most of my delicious tea resurfaced :-(, this in itself isn't unusual, it was the state of my face afterwards that alarmed me.

Have you ever had a few blood vessels burst around your eyes when you've been sick? I've had it happen once before but never like this. I looked in the mirror and my entire face had turned grey (like a dead face) absolutely covered in tiny red pinpricks and brown ones near my chin. I looked like I was one of those old women that's clearly had too much sun (and they stick a UV light to her face and look at all the speckles?)



Something like that, accept not under UV, just in natural daylight. I had a old woman's face. Much makeup was used for a few days afterwards, it's nearly cleared up now.

I am having a few dietry problems in general, the main one being that I seem to only be able to stomach junk food. Fruit and veg have lost more or less all of their appeal and I find they make me sick, I usually really enjoy fresh food but Ixxy is determined that I'm not having any of it. I can still eate wholegrain cereal, which is a plus at least.

Me and Emma Blackson have found ourselves eating a lot of MacDonalds and KFC, I'm additionally having pizza in the evenings. My weight isn't going up (amazingly) but I don't like the idea of stuffing my feutus with junk food. I have spoken to a few of the ladies on BabyandBump.com and the general feedback is that a mummy with something her stomach is better than one with nothing - a lot of the girls are having the same problem, and second timers assure me that it'll probably pass by the end of the first trimester.

Lastly, I have found myself obsessed with reusable nappies. I have purchased two, which should be here this week. One Tot Bot Rainbow Bamboozle in yellow, which is velcro fixed (I wanted poppers, but the site was sold out and ended up getting a bargain on eBay instead) and a posh, totally gorgeous Blueberry nappy in the Lemon Lime colour. I may also get the Cow one and perhaps either Blue Summer or Pink Lemonade.

So all in all it's been an exciting week :-)

Taking my blood and putting me in

On the 19th I had my first pregnancy doctors appointment. I had to go down to the hospital for 2.15pm with some confusing instructions. On the phone my doctors receptionist had actually mentioned a scan - which I was suprised by being as I was about to turn 9 weeks, not 20 weeks.

Blackson arrived...hmm...later than I had desired but in the end we got there with a moment to spare. We went to the outpatients centre.

The receptionist started talking about me having a letter and was I sure the appointment was here. Of course I was sure! I had verbally beaten the receptionist on the phone to give me the correct information - there was no way I was wrong.

We were told to go to Maternity, so we dwindled over there at a steady speed. We were now two minutes over my appointment time.

Apart from getting a sneaky peek of the maternity ward nothing became of the visit. There was a mix up, we had to get to my GPs across town. We threw on our capes and got back into Cassius (a studly yellow peugeot 107)

Before driving to the next destination.

By the time we got there and paid for parking we were roughly about twenty minutes late. The Red Team Midwifes were waiting for us.

I then got all the infomation, that I would've liked to have got as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Folic Acid talk, diet talk, what you can and can't eat. Luckily, I have the internet and am not an idiot, which means I'd already found out all this information. If I was an idiot, and didn't have the internet I could've been munching raw eggs and sharks, drinking vast quantities of alcohol and decided to take up smoking.

Why do you have to wait 3 weeks to find out the basics?

However, it's not all bad. They took five vials of my blood to test for lots of things and were nice enough to take the blood out of my hand and not out of the back of my elbow (I have severe screamishness about this due to a doctor once failing to find a vein and stabbing the soft fatty tissue repeatedly), so I answered a load of health questions - some of which I tried to make out that I could answer (Yes, my Nanna has type one diabetes - No just you or your parents etc) but I have to admit that aside from my weight I'm pretty darn healthy which puts me at a Low Risk Pregnancy.

My mind is already ticking, wondering if I can have a home birth (and hire some Gas and Air from a dentist). I'm sure nothing beats a warm paddling pool in your longue when it comes to popping a baby out through your vagina.

I was informed I would get a letter for my first (actual) hospital scan appointment. It came through this morning and is the 18th of June, another long wait. -sigh- And my midwife didn't take into account my not-knowing-when-I-got-pregnant story, and is just going from my last period - putting me at 11 weeks and due date 8th December. This is at least four weeks out (at minimum) but this should get resolved when I have my scan.

Delightful, I will blog soon.

Massive Upbeat Blog

Today, and in fact most of the days since I last blogged - have been good days. Since my horrendous sicking episode my hormones appeared to have calmed, Ixxy the embryo is clearly more settled in it's ways and isn't bothering its poor mother so much.

The deathly awful tiredness seems to have completely dried up - week 6 was such a strain, whereas now I find I have to force myself to get enough rest. I found a 5" pillow on ebay that I find myself fantastising about while restless and uncomfortable in the early hours of the morning. It's only £15 including delivery, I should probably just get it.

The idea behind the pillow is that you can hug it, put your head on it and put it inbetween your legs - which is basically how I'm sleeping at the moment with my duvet. When I get a bump, the internet tells me that I'll be wanting to sleep like this even more so I should probably listen.

Dominos pizza is still about the only thing I can consistantly keep down, and I don't seem to have got ill effects from it (i.e constipation, which I've had already while eating the most balanced meals I've ever had). Last night I managed half a large pizza (I can usually wolf a whole one without too much problem) and was delightfully full which helped me sleep. It was half double cheese, tomato and pineapple and half single cheese, mushrooms, tomatos and olives. Yum!

My weight I haven't been keeping too closer eye on, but it was 14.1 this morning and I usually gain a couple of pounds just by eating a pizza (I wish someone would explain to me how that's even possible) it still puts me at an 8-9 pound loss overall, but I reckon it was sitting more 13.13 before I managed to keep all this delicious food down.

I apoligise for the lenght of this blog but their are so many things happening - Ixxy is the size of a rapsberry and we are going in for a scan on wednesday. It has a heartbeat (unbelievably) which me and my friend might be able to see/hear on a moniter! I will blog that day anyhoo.

Alastair has decided he's moving out but the two of us are still on remarkably good terms, he's being very supportive despite deciding within himself that the child isn't his. I do wish him well, but I will need the other room, and it seems unfair to make him support me through a pregnancy he may not have even caused.

I'm a lot less stressed on my own. I have a baby care audio CD which is really good and is definiately letting me think that I made the right decision. I hope I did.

Motion Sickness Bands Fail

I'm currently in my 8th week of pregnancy and am expriencing extreme pregnancy sickness. Yesterday I went and got some of these bands, which are meant to help motion sickness, seasickness and morning sickness (explaining to my unaware work collegues why I was wearing them took some waffling).

I have seen a lot of sites that recommend these for help with morning sickness so this isn't me just making up some obscure myth and sticking with it - this is probably semi-factual.

Yesterday I stuck the bands on straight away and went around to my parents house where I ate a very decent portion of food without feeling sick once. I was fine all evening so kept the bands on.

My sickness basically doesn't allow me to eat or in fact desire food - so I was very grateful for the meal. I fell asleep still wearing the bands after getting a bit nauseous last thing at night, I was looking forward to eating food and drinking drink again without having to vomit everytime there was (or wasnt) something in my stomach.

Today was a different matter though.

I was sick twice after breakfast before leaving for work, and just an hour into work and I'd made four trips to my sick-toilet, and nearly hurled into a sink in the corridor. The bands had no effect. I kept down a bit of breakfast (I think) but was starving when I finished my shift. I removed the bands (which have left rather substantial ugly indents in my wrists) and proceeded to eat an egg and watercress sandwhich and a chocolate bar before heading home.

I have been sick so many times today that my stomach feels bruised inside. I want the burn the usless bands but will continue wearing them regardless. Even if there is a slim chance they will repress the sickness slightly then they are worth wearing - I'm having a hard time with it.

Anyway, I'm going to have to have a nap now (early pregnancy is stupidly tiring) then will maybe review this later and work on a decent skin for my blog.

Lifes Current Structure

I always said, that if I did at pregnant when I was young age completely unplanned - then I would blog about it.

On the 29th of April 2010 I arrived home from my little trip of England. I'd been wanting to have a holiday away from Alastair (my ex-partner/boyfriend) and to get to see some of my friends' universities, staying in halls etc.

After the Volcanic Ash had its turn in shaking up my planned travel I somehow managed to get to Dublin at 7am on the off chance that I 'might' get onto a packed ferry, which I did.

During the holiday I spent a staggering 20 hours on coaches (which I discovered are a hell of a lot cheaper than trains) and visited Derby, Norwich, London and Falmouth.

I ran out of money twice, slept with my ex (more than twice) and did a load of young, studentish things - which I am now extremely grateful for - as it looks likely that I will never stay in halls and be that kind of student.

I had suffered bloating/sickness for most of my holiday and was a bit confused that I didn't get my period (I had missed one, and had taken a test - which was negative - two weeks later). I thought nothing of it, I was stressed, I was on the minipill and all these things can affect your monthly cycle.

After missing two periods (something which has happened once before with no ultimate consequence) I decided I would take another test, so did so after returning home and finding the house empty.

It was instantly positive.

I've seen a lot of pregnancy tests, not because I have unprotected sex (I do not, as a rule) but because knowing that I'm not pregnant stops me worrying and brings on my period if it is late.
Usually I pee and I wait, and I watch the test line show up, wait a bit more, then bin it.

This time a line started to become visible far lower than I had expected and I started to shake. I was terrified and instantly rang my friend to try and calm myself down. She suggested I take another test.

Another instant positive.

So over the last 10 days I’ve been coming to terms with the idea of becoming a Mum at 21, I've developed a less-than-pleasing life structure which involves watching lots of 4od, eating a little, sicking a little and working occasionally.

I have a dedicated toilet at work for being sick into. At some point I will try and get a picture and talk in length about this beloved object of mine (no sick in picture).

It's also worth mentioning that I have no idea how the method of birth control failed and that I do not know who the father of my child is.

So, I'll keep you posted.